Sketches in the Ruins of My Mind

graphic: Sketches in the Ruins of my Mind.

Why are all the hottest babes robots?

Dateline: 3 May 2008
Author: Johnny <>

So, not getting out much and all, I was wondering about the fact all the hot babes nowadays are robots. Well, robots/androids/cyborgs - the terms have, it seems to me, become somewhat blurred in current usage. The term "robot" was originally intended for "artificial workers," according to Karel Capek himself. As good a term for these babes as you're going to find, methinks.

Here's my top five, in reverse order naturally:

  1. Seven of Nine, Star Trek Voyager

    The super-sexy, silicon-enhanced charms of blonde Borg überbabe Seven. Clad in a skin-tight catsuit, IQ in the stratosphere, and with the power to raise a man from the dead (Voyager: "Mortal Coil"), Seven has me mesmerised. Her cortical inhibitor dampens her emotions - now that's got to make life easier for a guy. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Oh yes.

    pic: Seven of Nine.
  2. Jamie Sommers, The Bionic Woman

    Bionic babe Jamie's cyborg loveliness completely made up for the so-so experience of ploughing through the pedestrian plotting of Bionic Woman. Sweet, smart, superhumanly strong and beyond beautiful, there's the implication that Jamie's bionic implants, apart from allowing streaming cam of hot-babe action, may be used to program Jamie's behaviour (Bionic Woman: "The Education of Jamie Sommers"). Ultra-hot and adjustable at the touch of a button. Awesome.

    pic: Jamie Sommers.
  3. Rommie, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda

    Android avatar super-intelligent AI Rommie is not just an eye-wateringly smokin' hot babe but also a warship, the Andromeda Ascendant, with enough firepower to shatter a planet and nova bombs that can snuff out a star. Ah, gunships in high orbit with hot android babes at my command…if only.

    pic: The Andromeda Ascendant and Rommie.
  4. Cameron, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

    Adorable psychotic killing machine devised as a deep infiltration unit able to precisely mimic (Terminator: "Vick's Chip" lets us know just how precisely) the hottest of hot babes from a man's most fevered fantasies of feminine pulchritude. Not just kick-ass fight moves but ballet as well. With erasable memory and programmable to your requirements - will single-mindedly do whatever it takes to fulfil the mission parameters. No prizes for guessing what mission parameters I'll be inserting.

    pic: Cameron with Glock.

    The insanely gorgeous Glaubot was only just shaded out by the woman in red…

  5. Six, Battlestar Galactica
    pic: Six in trademark red dress.

    Angel or demon? I don't really care when she's packaged in the awesome form of goddess Cylon Model Number Six. Not only does Six look drop dead gorgeous in a red dress, she quite literally gets right inside your head and fucks with your mind as well as your body. Breath-taking beauty and mercurial madness…you never know what's coming next with Six. Whichever way she chooses to do it, Six will blow you away body and soul.

    pic: Cylon Model Six.

    As a Discordian it's surely my religious duty to worship the lovely Six as an incarnation of The Goddess of Chaos, blessed be.

To cap it all…there are millions of Sixes, Resurrection Ships can churn them out wholesale. Camerons can be cranked out on an assembly line, just have your supplies of Coltan ready for the hyper-alloy combat chassis.

Seems to me it really can't get any better than this. Roll on the singularity and the rise of the robots! I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords. So long as they're all as impossibly hot as these gorgeous robobabes of course!