BIKINI ALERT LEVEL: MAROON OMEGA
In which Johnny valiantly searches for the Grand Unifying Theory (GUT) that will lay bare all the world's conspiracies to his mighty intellect. Once armed with this knowledge, and an array of Insanely Destructive Devices, Johnny plans to forge his vision of the future for humanity. Or at least to get to meet Elvis, in Vegas, for a cheeseburger and fries.
Your death will be so protracted and violent that investigators will let your mother down easy by telling her you were sodomized in half by a horse.
The way the world is...
The Forever WarAsked to define `victory' in the war against terrorism last week, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld had difficulty coming up with a concise answer. After 500 words of hovering, he landed on his definition. `I say that victory is persuading the American people and the rest of the world that this is not a quick matter that is going to be over in a month or a year or even five years,' he said.- Washington Post, Sept. 23, 2001, Page A03
...for some definition of lifetime.
In case you asked about my politics... we should
have this for the UK...
Guns and Dope Party
And check out...
A statesman is a dead politician. Lord knows we need more statesmen.
The word `politics' is derived from the word `poly,' meaning `many,' and the word `ticks,' meaning `blood sucking parasites.'
- Dave Barry
Check out the ``social contract'' you ``agreed'' to
On August 19, 1934, 95% of the Germans who were registered to vote went to the polls and 90% (38 million) of adult German citizens voted to give Adolf Hitler complete and total authority to rule Germany as he saw fit. Only 4.25 million Germans voted against this transfer of power to a totalitarian regime.
- William Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side?
And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
- Mark Twain, Huckleberry Finn
Competition is fierce in Edinburgh's ``Pubic Triangle.''
``If you need me I'll be at the nudie bar.''